Word is, that Elliot Spitzer’s debut on Al Gore’s cable network is far from illustrious. He drew 75% fewer viewers than Keith Olbermann who has just been fired. I’m surprised, but maybe this signifies an important change in popular opinion.
A week ago your Manhattan Voyeur saw Eliot Spitzer sunning himself with his too-prominent forehead thrust up toward the bright sky. He reminded me of the large green turtle sitting motionless on a nearby rock in the Central Park pond in front of the Plaza Hotel. Only unlike the turtle, Spitzer looked expensive—his pale blue shirt sleeves rolled up past his elbows, his arms stretched territorially across the back of the park bench.
I’d been visiting my new friend—Jan Yan the wildlife whisperer--six feet and millions and millions of dollars away from Spitzer.
The Spitzer sighting is a fortuitous turn of events for your Manhattan Voyeur. I could take four steps and join the ten or so people respectfully ogling our former governor nicknamed the Luv Gov by the tabloids because of his very public dalliance with a prostitute during his last days in public office.
Spitzer looked like he owned the world and indeed he owns at least two very tall nearby luxury apartment buildings. This is a sensitive factor (and I will return to this subject later) in the success story that is Eliot Spitzer.
One of the onlookers said something to Spitzer but I was three feet from hearing him. Spitzer didn’t look at the onlooker, but shrugged and said one word. Your Manhattan Voyeur longed to hear the exchange. But I fell down on the job. I’d like to blame my life partner Joe Weintraub who hates it when I get involved in street scenes—some middle class inhibition I’m afraid.
But it was my fault. I am an introvert who gets my best stuff by watching rather than asking people questions. And the combination of Joe’s disapproving glances and my own cowardice kept me rooted to the sidewalk in front of Jan Yen’s souvenir booth. I couldn’t eavesdrop on Spitzer and his admirers.
But I could see that Spitzer was emanating even more confidence than usual. He already knew that he’d be replacing Keith Olbermann on Al Gore’s new cable tv network. I can’t help but wish that Olberman (probably as likable as Spitzer) owned a couple of apartment buildings. Olbermann was fired because he was rude to a limousine driver. Olbermann is frequently brusque according to gossip columns.
Why fire Keith Olbermann. At first glance Spitzer’s sin involving tax payers money is far less forgivable—unless you factor in his apartment buildings. Spitzer will never be a failure—his fortune makes him a potential Teflon plutocrat and maybe his tv career is the first step in his path back to elective office. Unless Olbermann wins the lottery tomorrow and thereby joins the top echelons of the one percent, I’m going to send him a second hand copy from Amazon of Emily Post’s etiquette book.
Good luck Keith. You’re smart and I will always be grateful to you for bringing me Rachel Maddow who seems genuinely fond of you—so you’re not brusque all the time. Furthermore the aforementioned Joe Weintraub is frequently brusque to errant cab drivers and nobody’s firing him despite his lack of an expensive real estate portfolio .